Born Ng Wan, a native of Zhongshan in the province of Guangdong, Ng Kwan Lai grew up in Shanghai, and it was while she was being educated there that she became fascinated by traditional dramatic performances. Arriving in Hong Kong with her family in 1952, she enrolled at the Hong Kong Academy of Cantonese Opera the following year to study under the renowned performer Chan Fei Nung. A hard-working student who realised that the martial arts and acrobatic performances of Beijing Opera held a greater appeal, she went on to learn stage martial arts under the father-and-son team of Kay Choi Fun and Kay Yuk Kun, the well-known Beijing Opera masters. Her concentrated efforts quickly bore fruit as her performances gained in skill and credibility. To improve her vocal presentation, she turned to Cantonese Opera singing coaches Wan Chi Chung and Lam Siu Lau and then took lessons in ancient melodies from Lui Man Shing. The tutelage of these famous musicians introduced her to the art of singing, and her voice began to take on a memorable brilliance and resonance. Guided by these great masters, Ng received balanced training in stylistic and vocal performance, and this paved the way for her success in the roles of the dou ma dan (the female martial role), the tsing yi (the gentle young woman who suffers a distressing fate and ends up destitute) and the kwei mun dan (the girl from an affluent and respectable family).

Ng made her stage debut in 1954 when Chan Fei Nung invited her to make a guest appearance in the production by his Yat Chi Mui Opera Troupe of the opera War and Love. In her next stage appearance – as the patriotic and supportive royal consort to the crown prince of the Yan State in the opera Jing Ke, the Hero – her interpretation of the secondary female role, and especially her performance in the scene The Farewell at the River Yi, not only impressed audiences but also garnered her good reviews. It was the beginning of a glittering stage career.